Fishy

There is, trust me.
[not! because I'm an (future) engineer *ohYou]

let's just send these points public, shall I? I really need to kind of 'declare' them somehow, it's fine if you don't continue reading. This will be one of those cheap bedtime stories I create to bore friends and force them to say, 'yes, yes....'.

->
okay first, I don't really fancy thick fantasy poetic novels, but just so you guys know Musashi by Eiji Yoshikawa - which is actually based on historical events - is just the best novel eveeeer ever ever to me. Its calming flow of story and confusing yet constructive descriptions successfully hypnotized me as if I can see the land told in the story only by peeking the book, feeling their bravery penetrates into my blood vessels, coyly blushed at certain implicit affections tucked between the war. I'd prefer its English translation to Bahasa, it feels different, but It'd be terribly hard to find them these days. Maybe if you read the first novel in Bahasa you will be fine continuing in Bahasa.

Eiji Yoshikawa writes like he's informing the readers. Like a humble, delicate uncle telling a story to his oh so excited and curious little nephew, but at the same time assuming that we are capable enough to understand complicated situations and his poetic yet high five - on the face - with a chair words of wisdom. He always depict the adventure as widely challenging as it can be, inviting the reader to really feel the spirit and dreaming to be there too (not the war, but of course).

I just started rading his novel called 'Shin Suikoden', I'm totally excited but it's still a view first pages so I could still control my will and paused. My logic is still aware of humanity that it reminded me I got so much stuff to be done first.

->
My second point will be, maybe it's just, a good writer tells stories like giving information patiently. Not stating opinions as if shooting riffle at some watermelon target and like, 'here is what I think, you're here reading it so you should agree with it and shut up,' and when you try to give your opinion, 'oh yeah I didn't hear you, you should hear my opinion again.'

I really want to sing that one forbidden word with so much passion... ph--k. haha #RihannaNavi! wait, this is going so apathetic, sorry.

I almost fully aware that my writing sucks, almost, but I hope I'm not that kind of writer I just mentioned. And if I actually am, please remind me :)

What a controversial opinions here, I'd better go and hide.

Mismatched Comprehension

Kenapa gue selalu milih judul bahasa Inggris? karena kata-katanya lebih dikit. yeah.

Ada dua hal yang ga gue ngerti dan ada di kepala gue sekarang:
1. Philip di 'Pirates of The Carribean: On Stranger Tides' itu akhirnya hidup di dalem aer? O.O hohoooo! dia ternyata yang jadi Prince William di 'Snow white and the huntsman' sama Duncan Edward di 'United'. Thank you imdb! tapi masih lebih menarik Andrew Garfield kalo minggu-minggu ini (not that I'm a fan, thooo). wait...... jadi menjurus ke infotainment.

2. Gue masih ga ngerti kenapa gue punya blog, nulis aja ga bener woy. Ini esensinya memiliki blog ada dimana? emang ada yang baca juga blognya ya =___="


hhhhmmm.....
barusan kepikiran kalo gue dan romance (waaait, bahasa Indonesianya apa? romansa, hmm, keberatan) itu sama aja kaya pete sama jengkol, engga dimasak bareng. Sekarang gue bingung mending jadi jengkolnya apa petenya....  [pengandaian yang tidak terstruktur]
Regularly my mind twists my long kept paradigm so easily, misalnya dalam mendeskripsikan suatu perasaan yang gue rasakan.

 Kaya tuna melt pizza itu rasanya romantis, meanwhile Asahigawa Ken can act so delicious sometimes (well err, ehehh, in terms of connotation, that's true. We shall not take this topic further).

 

aaaaaargh, kenapa gue ngeselin dan ga berubah-berubah =____= karena gue ninja turtle, kalo gue ninja rangers pasti berubah dulu. oh no, itu kan mutan. (ini jayusnya minta tolong....)

dan kalo ada yang ga sengaja baca blog ini padahal ga kenal, please keep your judgment to yourself. Ada yang percaya untuk ga acuh atas pendapat sekitar, tapi gue ga pernah bisa ngebawa diri gue sendiri buat berpikir kaya gitu. Opinions matter in various amount, they just always do.

ngomong apa gue barusan =,='

quote of the day: umur sih 19, tapi ngeyelnya masih kaya anak 12 tahun, kadang-kadang begayanya udah kaya 27 tahun. eh kalo dirata-ratain tetep 19 sih.... (19+12+27)/3= 19.3 hahaha tetep ngeselin, sorry :/

Hitting Holiday

It's not even been a month since my holiday started, but things have been coming so rapidly overwhelming, in a good way. I'll just show you some points I'd love to share.

1. I finally have something to concentrate and build passion on, Aeronautics and Aerospace Engineering!

when your score flopped while you're waiting for a further major allocation and your epic smart friend is registering the same major as yours, yes, you should be freaking worried. But I wasn't that concern to be honest, hehe. I believed in my three solid unchanged choices, and just a bit worried at the end, freaking crazy when the announcement appeared. I cheered like when Rooney scored the bicycle goal. I fell like real grown ups now, studying certain field of speciality :P Before the announcement I was lke, 'I really pull myself away from Material engineering, there's no way I'll be glad there, but there's no way I'll be saved to mechanical engineering which I chose as the first alternative with this poor final score '.  I'm sooooo happy! I promise I'll study like a devoted aeronautics super swagger with a sparkle of cavalier! haha you know you need to be arrogant sometimes to keep yourself in good quality.

2. A view weeks robbed for intensive futsal and matches really pushed my blood to race every time I woke up (so early, wicked). 

To me, futsal is wicked, and without defining any reasons first I chose it as my favorite sport. Maybe because it's a mental game, full of blood rushing excitement, requiring clever tactics, pushing your agility, suing your physical ability, and fooling your emotional instability. Gaining two wins after more than a year was like shaking of evil curses, my blunder which brought the team mentally down at the first match was a high five-on the face-with a chair moment to me, gladly it showed me my room of improvement. The last defeat proved me (and the team, perhaps) that we have improved, but not well enough to be proud of. 

That Monday when I arrived back home, I felt a bit lonely in an awkward way. Knowing that twelve individually weird girls (that have been together for days, sleeping stacked in a studio, snuggling in a car all day, watched the Euro like crazy and woke up late for training the next day, borrowing each other clothes and stuffs, fooling around unconditionally, some stalking and gossip madness I always avoid =,= with some emotional team moments that strengthened us in the end) has finally get back to their own homes answering their family calls, knowing that we'll be kept together again soon for the next cup. lol 

3. Two years ago, I thought I'd never met my favorite goalkeeper. 

I learned a lesson. As long as your wish is positive, never lose it. Patience and rational thinking will lead you to it, or when it can't be reached, it will save you from breaking. Somehow it also proved my motto; 'I always get what I want. I don't know when and how, but when It's granted I'll be thankful.'

Thank you Papa & Mama for letting me go and buying me & sissy the tickets, thank you Munial Sports Group for organizing such memorable event, and thank you Edwin Van der Sar for coming and signing my gloves and jersey. He is my favorite football legend. I didn't know that tears of joy do exist until last Saturday.

4. My favorite Summer Hit is on iTunes, the video clip has been released on iTunes, Vevo, and MTV.

Fine, I admit that I've always had this boyband magnetic feeling since I was nine when my classmate introduced me to Westlife, moving on to Backstreet Boys and Blue. That madness has been long burried by rock musics and RnBs, before Midnight Red awakened it like a zombie. So the above video is 'Hell Yeah', their first music video. They first followed me (@ItsMidnightRed) since I tweeted something about BSB, I pretty much 'investigate' one member that caught my eyes, Anthony Ladao, a talented dancer taught by Bryan  Tanaka since he was young. I believe every dancer emits different emotions through their routines and although he's not the best dancer out there, I like his moves the most. 

So you guys should take a moment and enjoy the music. Spread the word of this new hit maker because I believe they deserve lotsov, lotsov attention (too much NigaHiga).

5. It's Sissy's 13th birthday!

Shooo! go greet her on twitter or facebook! She deserves to be swaggie :D

quote of the day: I like what I like because I consider it to be like-worthy, not because somebody that I like likes it. (LikeCeption)

Untitled: Part 1: A Forced Facation

Jadi, bukan langit itu biru, tapi

biru itu langit

-itu kata satu sisi pikiran gue yang dalam sepersekian detik disanggah sama sisi lainnya-. Bukan, itu gelombang cahaya biru yang terpecah, menjalar di atmosfir ga merata yang bikin pelukis harus menyiapkan warna biru, kuning, dan menghambur-hamburkan warna putih kalo mereka mau mengabadikanya (tau betapa susahnya bikin warnanya ga berubah jadi ijo??). Terus, keluar dari otak teori Rayleigh, radiasi, dualisme gelombang, sampai panjang gelombang kesukaan gue 450-475nm, cant be replaced :)

snap

untungnya cuaca mendukung buat tetap waras karena liburan ga pernah cocok sama galau, ayo semangat. Ada beberapa kata yang bisa nguatin gue terus semangat dan ninggalin galau terkunci di kamar kosan, traveling ngeliat alam Indonesia. Le effin' awesome escape, under le heating sun :3 *tadi malem boros 9gag*

Sebagai prakata yang nyelip di chapter pertama, gue mau memperjelas kalo, writing has never been my passion and I guess it will never be. Dengan beberapa alasan gue tumben-tumbennya pengen berbagi cerita tentang liburan yang dipaksakan ada pada hari libur yang nyempil ini. Empat hari, Kamis sampe Minggu, yeah itu cukup banget buat hedon secara alami. Dan gue ga sendirian tapi juga menyeret beberapa orang buat senang-senang kepepet, mama, papa, adek. it wouldn't be nice, they said, tapi buat gue justru yang bullsh*t itu liburan tanpa mereka, h*ll it wouldn't be any close to fun. Gue ga tau gimana mau ngenalin diri disini, gimana kalo gue menyuguhkan nama Jess buat panggilan gue selama cerita ini? itu salah satu nickname gue yang belakangan udah jarang dipake, dan tentunya jauh dari nama asli ;P

Jadi, pas gue ngetik ini gue lagi di pesawat menuju Lombok, Gili Trawangan to be exact. Itulah kenapa dibuka dengan warna birunya langit. Cuma itu pemandangan yang menguasai mata gue sekarang karena penerbangan siang itu sepaket sama silau, dan gue ga mau menyia-nyiakan tempat duduk dekat jendela yang udah gue menangkan dari adek gue dengan menutup jendela. Biasanya gue ga mengandalkan laptop buat ngisi waktu di pesawat. Dulu seringnya sketchbook, terus iPad, dan belakangan cuma music player yang ada di pesawat dan punya playlist penyanyi favorit gue. Emang gue perhatian banget sama pesawat apa yang gue tumpangi, paling suka yang ada music playernya biar bisa tidur *swaggie, I know*. Bukan berarti gue ga suka yang sederhana,  ini gue tetep enjoy dan menurut gue se-fancy apa lo berangkat dan pulangnya ga ngaruh sama betapa serunya liburan lo.

Ini bukan pertama kalinya gue ke Gili Trawangan, dulu udah pernah tapi nginepnya di Lombok. Waktu itu gue beneran ngerasa ga pengen pulang. Bahkan gue sempet berpikir, kalo gue ga harus ngejar gelar sarjana dan punya karier, gue bakan kabur buat tinggal disini. Pulau itu kesannya ceria, warna-warni dimana-mana tapi tetap berkesan natural. jalanan aspal kecil yang ketutupan pasir, pantai bisa diliat dari mana aja, orang-orang yang bersahaja, benar-benar keliatan kaya diluar dunia yang kebanyakan orang tau. gue sempet kepikiran kalo ini tuh udah kaya planet laen, bawaannya seneng terus kalo disitu, sampe kalo makan ga kenyak-kenyang *mungkin ini gue doang*.

Ehem, ternyata kepala gue sedikit engga enak kebanyakan ngeliat layar laptop. gue bakan nerusin cerita ginian tentunya, mungkin pas mendarat atau udah sampe hotel. atau kalo gue terlalu semangat, malemnya baru bisa gue terusin. anyhow, yang penting gue ceritain kaaaan? buat yang lagi liburan juga ataupun engga, enjoy your day. Di penghujung hari lo bakal terkejut dengan apa aja yang bisa lo lakukan seharian itu, jadi gunakan hari lo se efektif mungkin :)

_______________________________________________________________

so it's yajoooo. gue mau mengingatkan bahwa ini bukan jurnal, gue ada di kosan kok. Jess itu fiksi, bukan gue yang sok keren *well, emang gue sok keren sih*, tapi emang cara ngomongnya kaya gua dah =,= *lesigh.

Enam paragraf diatas itu murni fiksi, dan gue tau gue ga jago menulis yang poetic dan tersusun rapih (apa gunanya gue belajar TTKI), tapi tetep aja gue pengen numpahin ini cerita panjang selama liburan ini karena..... karena kece *plak*. sebenarnya ga ada alesan juga sih, tapi tumben kan gue ngepost sesuatu yang panjang, hah, gue aja capek bacanya. Anggap aja ini semacam fanfiction hahahahaha. mungkin kalo dipikir2, kasian banget ya si yajo kaga pergi liburan sampe bikin cerita soal liburan, ngenes amat. iya sih mungkin itu motifnya haha, dan Part 1 ini belom masuk ke inti cerita sama sekali, le holla back.

Look Back While Looking Around

lagi ilang di pasar malem ceritanya........ ga deng. ayo menulis yang berat-berat dengan kata yang hebat-hebat. paan sih? ga tau lah gitu pokoknya

Pas lagi brunch sambil scrolling timeline twitter, berbangga hari ini karena Dirty Bass udah ada di iTunes ;) gue keinget sama suatu pribadi yang gue kenal, ga deket-deket amat. Bukan kagum yang gue citrakan atas dia, tapi gue tau gue terlihat sedikit sempurna jika berbanding dengan dia #ahem. Sedikit, refleksi ke dia itu bikin gue ngeliat kalo, yah, pada waktu tertentu gue mendekati keburukan dia hahaha, tapi secara keseruluhan gue masih jauh berbangga diri, paling engga gue ngerasa gue lebih besar dari yang gue lihat.

Hampir setahun gue menjalani hari berstatus sebagai mahasiswi di tempat yang setahun lalu cuma gue tulis di dinding depan meja belajar, pake sticky notes yang ga lebih gede dari tempe goreng. Selama hampir setahun itu pula gue rasa struggle gue disini belom memenuhi betapa besar rasa syukur yang seharusnya gue berikan. Setiap gue liat sekeliling dan semua yang udah gue lewatin walau baru kemaren, ada rasa puas tapi pasti ada penyesalan. penyesalan kenapa waktu gue ga bisa dipakai lebih efektif waktu itu, kenapa ga bisa mencapai ini dan itu dengan waktu yang lebih singkat. Mengutip kata-kata temen gue yang otaknya sobek, 'penyesalan itu datang belakangan, kalo diawal berarti pendaftaran.'..... hahaha ini nyindir orang-orang yang salah jurusan banget ya. Secara keseluruhan gue bukan menyesal kenapa gue ga bisa lebih sukses, gue sangat bersyukur dengan apa gue sekarang. Nah, gue keselnya kenapa gue ga bisa menyalurkan seluruh waktu gue yang ada selama hampir setahun ini buat menunjukkan betapa bersyukurnya gue =______= otak gue minim kreativitas kalo soal mengatur dan mengisi waktu ya.

tadi sebenernya mau nulis blog intinya gini:
(ini gue bawa-bawa nama fakultas gue dah, jarang-jarang kan?
sebenernya bisa diaplikasikan pada fakultas dan universitas lain kok)

kalo gue lagi menjalani hari seenaknya, males-malesan, mulai menganggap enteng nilai dan belajar, gue ngelakuin ini.... search di twitter dengan kata kunci 'ftmd itb'.
bakal keliatan tweet-tweet semangat, doa, kepasrahan, impian yang ngebawa-bawa nama fakultas dimana gue belajar ini. itu baru yang ngetweet doang, dulu aja ga pernah gue tweet =,='. Betapa banyaknya orang yang ingin berada disini, betapa banyak orang yang waktu tahun gue gagal dan mungkin sampai sekarang masih ada di awang-awang.

lihat orang-orang itu seakan ga bisa ngegapai untuk berada disini dan gue tiap hari tinggal naek angkot aja kadang-kadang masih kesiangan. Fasilitas full dari orang tua yang bahkan orang dewasa aja belom tentu punya, perlindungan ketat sama back up keluarga ada terus, ga perlu ngerjain pekerjaan rumah, ga perlu kerja juga. dan gue cuma bisa nunjukin kesal di blog, bangun kesiangan, banyak makan, dan ambil nilai aman.

ayo yang merasa lebih baik maupun lebih buruk dari gue, liat dimana lo sekarang dan inget kaya gimana lo dulunya. lihat kemaren lo sejelek apa, sekarang sekeren apa. Acara amazing race FTMD kemaren tuh bener-bener nunjukin kalo dalam satu hari (amazing race sih kurang dari 10 jam malahan) lo bisa ngerjain banyak banget hal. lo bisa ngerubah hidup lo dalam sehari, jadi lebnih baik atau lebih buruk. lebih buruk sih lebih gampang. susah cari alasan untuk jadi lebih baik, tapi kalo ada kemauan untuk nyari alesan-alesan itu, mereka baka dateng dengan sendirinya dan mendorong lo kearah yang lebih baik.

asik ayo liburaaaan!



kenapa otak gue hari ini? abis baca apa gue semalem? fanfiction? nonton tokio hotel?

ah ga ada gambarnya postingannya boring ah

quote of the day: ke BSM cooooy

Call It What You Want

Me that I feel from how people act around myself is somehow different than what those closest people praise about. so here it is, I'm a shadow, mostly invisible, unattractively boring, lack of humor, talking inappropriately, creepy, unfair, thinking that she's great au contraire she is not, swagger, looking for attention, bossy, should better be not aroud, crappy, cheap, not fun at all, people pay attention to me because I'm somehow pitiful, and.... the list goes on. this is not great at all, are those people fake or I am? I don't know how to mend it so guess I'll just live with it for now. or maybe I am fake, these people know it since it's so obvious but I don't realize it myself because I'm too self-centered or something. so I'm fake. oh well.

lalalala

Necessity

 

when these odds are ended well I promise I'll stay 

quote of the day: 'not-matching' is the new 'matching' ;P