Me that I feel from how people act around myself is somehow different than what those closest people praise about. so here it is, I'm a shadow, mostly invisible, unattractively boring, lack of humor, talking inappropriately, creepy, unfair, thinking that she's great au contraire she is not, swagger, looking for attention, bossy, should better be not aroud, crappy, cheap, not fun at all, people pay attention to me because I'm somehow pitiful, and.... the list goes on. this is not great at all, are those people fake or I am? I don't know how to mend it so guess I'll just live with it for now. or maybe I am fake, these people know it since it's so obvious but I don't realize it myself because I'm too self-centered or something. so I'm fake. oh well.